Life is full of challenges and difficulties, no doubt. And at some point, most of us experience some form of injustice, humiliation, failure, or loss. Justifiably, such experiences can create deeply rooted trauma and cause you to feel powerless, long term. Add in the unresolved traumatic experiences of your parents and all the ancestors, and there is a solid chance you have solidified the victim archetype within you, as our perception is very much influenced by the verbal and nonverbal communication of our family. Then of course there is the herd mentality that will also shape and fortify your core beliefs.
So if you are determined to transcend your emotional difficulties, it is always worth keeping in mind that not everything necessarily starts with you. However, it is up to you to turn things around and work through your issues.
There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable, and in fact, only when you face your demons, can you heal and evolve. Also, if you are going through any type of mistreatment, it is imperative that you seek help and look for ways to resolve or end abusive situations. In fact, as soon as you decide to take action against injustice or at least remove yourself from it , you are not a victim anymore. You are now taking control of your life.
However, the problem starts when victimisation becomes your comfort zone and an excuse to not get things done, or not go where you want to, in life. The victim archetype can be quite hard to become aware of, as the ego will convince you that you are living your destiny, and that nothing can be changed. Here are five key signs you are stuck in the archetype of the victim.
You can’t take care of yourself.
You are convinced that you would never be able to take care of yourself independently, economically or emotionally. Your relationships tend to be codependent and are usually full of drama.
You are full of resentment.
Spewing hate, speaking badly of others constantly, spending hours trolling on social media are just some of the ways you project your inner vulnerabilities, externally, in a very dysfunctional and toxic way. You feel other people have had more opportunities than you, which can make you jealous or envious of them.
You have a “poor me” attitude.
You seek attention by constantly showing or telling others how hard you have it, how unfair life has been towards you, without actually looking for a way to improve your circumstances. Even if you ask for help, you don’t really accept the advice and follow through any plan to change. You prefer that others feel sorry for you, in fact.
You blame the environment for your lack of success, luck, etc.
Blaming your parents, the government, your ex, or your boss, in an overtly or covertly aggressive manner is also a sure sign of playing the victim. Again, this is not to say that you are wrong in assessing a certain relationship or situation as toxic, but rather, it is about owning your experience and taking responsibility for making the necessary changes.
Everything is a struggle for you.
There is a sense of heaviness in everything you do. Your core belief is, that in order to succeed, you have to pay a high price by sacrificing your happiness, health and vital energy. You may really hate your job or feel that you deserve to be paid more. However, the victim in you convinces you that that’s how it’s got to be, for you. You are not one of the lucky ones!
If you’ve identified with more than one of these signs, chances are, the victim archetype is a very dominant aspect of your mental patterns, and it may be one the main reasons you feel so stuck on your life path.
In progressive constellations, we use different techniques that may help you to gradually deactivate these so-called dysfunctional archetypes, and replace them with functional archetypes, by working through the relationship with your parents, your own personal challenges and struggles, as well as your posture and breath.
You can learn more about progressive & systemic constellations, and all the special offers, by clicking on the link below.