Why does(n’t) the Law of Attraction work?
One of the key premises of New Age philosophy is that we attract what we think. How many times have you heard that you just have to use positive affirmations and your dreams will come true?
It sounds very promising indeed and many life coaches and motivational speakers have made a fortune out of their workshops. However, there are many people who simply fail to “attract” money, their ideal partner , dream job etc. even though they religiously use positive affirmations, attend motivational workshops and blindly follow their so called “gurus”. So, how come so many folks are trapped on a hamster wheel, despite of being familiar with all the trendy spiritual jargon of “living in abundance”,”connecting to universal energy”, “being in sync with the Cosmos” etc. ?
Well for one thing, a lot of the times, people get stuck in ” spiritual bypassing” i.e. using spirituality to avoid pain.
Now, this does not mean that you shouldn’t strive to be a positive thinker and look for constructive ways to fulfill your ambitions, desires and plans, but if you UNCONSCIOUSLY cultivate debilitating beliefs, it is precisely those that will keep creating the reality that you DON’T WANT. This is why it’s important to look at the unpleasant and painful aspects of yourself and your life, without sugarcoating and bypassing.
Most of your debilitating beliefs stem from childhood and the beliefs and values acquired in your family system, your society, your schooling process, etc. For instance, if your parents always used to complain about not having enough money, most likely you unconsciously developed an aversion and resistance towards earning enough money even if you say otherwise on a conscious level. You may even earn a decent living but you will most likely always be terrified of spending money.
You may feel guilty and anxious every time you want to buy something nice for yourself. This so called “poverty mentality” can be seen as a collective mindset in different societies. In some cases, the peer pressure alone can be enough to make you feel like you dare not dream of a different reality.
This is why attracting the so called “abundance” in life is not as straightforward as it seems, as you first need to become aware of your inner voice that reflects all the trauma, family & social pressure, inhibitions, insecurities and unconscious convictions.
And of course, without a constructive plan, dedication and effort, you get stuck in sheer daydreaming. For many, fantasizing becomes the well established comfort zone, as even the slightest sign of change induces fear of the unknown. This unconscious fear usually activates the inner critic that will sabotage any attempt to follow through with a plan.
Some common examples of the inner critic would be “I don’t deserve this.”, “I’m not good enough”, “Only greedy people want more money.”, “People always deceive me.””It’s just not possible.”, and the list goes on.
Therefore, to transform your reality you first need to replace the “instant result” mentality with a full long term commitment on a physical, mental, emotional, intuitive and practical level.
- On a physical level with the help of yoga techniques it is possible to refine the nervous system, overcome mental conditionings, trauma and negative internal dialogue. In addition, the scaffolding approach to yoga learning develops willpower and patience, which are necessary for fulfilling any other life goal.
- On a mental level, a daily meditation practice will help you concentrate and learn how to observe your thoughts without judgment as well as become aware of your inner voice that is responsible for your attitude, experience and current reality.
- On an emotional level it is key to explore where your limiting beliefs come from and what archetypes remain active in your unconscious mind and family system. Are you stuck in the arquetype of martyr, victim or orphan? Systemic Constellations can help you overcome the dysfunctional arquetypes and beliefs and facilitate personal growth.
- On an intuitive level there is an aspect of our intelligence, in yoga known as the Buddhi (in Sanskrit it means awake). When you silence the continuous thought flow through breathwork and meditation, a mental space opens up where you can connect to your inner wisdom. Contemplating on gratitude, unconditional acceptance, humility and the transient nature of life are some of the ways to connect to your intuition.
- On a practical level , nothing will happen without a clear a vision and a tangible and measurable plan. Sure, sometimes we get lucky and opportunities open up, but it’s still down to our daily effort and positive intention how things will pan out. If you want change, be ready to get out of your comfort zone and end toxic relationships, set your boundries, stick to your diet and exercise plan, relocate, change your career, start a business of your own, ask for professional help when you feel stuck in a certain aspect of your life, etc. Seriously, don’t wait, do it now!
In conclusion, we cannot attract everything we want, but we do attract everything that is neccesary for our internal growth. With gratitude, humility and determination don’t ever be afraid to be your authentic self!
For more information on how to use Yoga & Systemic Constellations for overcoming your fears and negative beliefs,
check out my book below.